I want to trust my husband, but the truth is he has not been trustworthy.
So, how do you trust someone who has not earned the privilege of being trusted? After much wrestling I have come to the understanding that it is okay that I just do not right now. At least not to the depth that I desire.
I looked up verse after verse in scripture on the word “trust” and not one time did it tell me to trust in man or even in myself. I did, however, find over 50 verses that plea with me to trust in the Lord. Reminding me that he alone is worthy of my trust.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
– Proverbs 3:5
Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
– Psalm 32:10
Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever.
– Psalm 125:1
Jeremiah 17 even reminds me the detriment that comes when I trust in man to the point that I turn my heart from God. My husband will fail me again and again if I am seeking to put full trust in his ability to muster up the energy to be faithful to me, lead our family and honor God with his body and mind.
It is the Lord that searches his heart and tests his mind. It is the Lord that will give him the desire and the strength to honor what he commands. It is the Lord that he should seek to please, not me. Further, I believe God desires my husband’s heart to be trustworthy far more than I ever could.
I do want to be clear that this does not take responsibility off of my husband to pursue trustworthiness. God calls him to a standard of faithfulness to him and to me. God knows his heart, but he has to earn my trust again. So practically speaking, he makes an effort to show me that he is where he says he is and is sure to take a brother in Christ with him when entering a situation that could lead to temptation.
Also, we have set up accountability software on our phones and computers and friends that are willing to ask the tough questions. It is also deeply trust-building for him to talk with me about what God is teaching him in his walk. All of these things are good, but what I am ultimately seeking is peace that he too is putting his trust in the Lord and not trying to manage sin himself.
You know that I so deeply desire to trust my husband and not to question his every step and motive. I desire to believe that you are truly completing a great work in him, making him trustworthy. Help me to move my eyes from my husband and focus them on you.
The pain of unfaithfulness and broken promises can make it hard to breath sometimes much less allow me to trust the person who hurt me.
But it is in you that I trust. You, the one who is always trustworthy. You, the one who has never walked away from me. You, the one who is able to change the hearts of every man. You, who desires more than me to have the man you have called live in a manner that is worthy of that calling.
Increase my faith and trust in you today dear Father! Grant me again the peace that transcends all understanding.
Your Trusting in the Round,
Here are some helpful resources if you find yourself in a situation like mine or desire to be proactive in protecting yourself or loved ones from temptation.
Please stop back on Fridays for more about Erin's story and what God is doing in her marriage.
“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved."