An Un-Canonized Psalm of Pondering Divorce

In the midst of the most trying time in my marriage, God encouraged me through the story of King David.  He didn’t stop there.  He continues to point to a great cloud of witnesses that have gone before me – from Biblical times through the 21st century.  My desire is to encourage others by sharing those stories.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."
Hebrews 12:1-2

God gave me another story of hope by a woman named Lara Williams. I am sure she is completely un-aware of our friendship, but it exists!  As it turns out, around the time my life crumbled she wrote a book entitled “To Walk or Stay.”

A friend who did not know of my situation invited me to attend a mother’s gathering where Lara was the guest speaker. Although I did not know the topic of the gathering, I went out of love for my friend and the desire to be with other women who didn’t know my mess.

Wouldn’t you know that God was going to speak right to me through Lara that night? She lived a very Christian life and her marriage was right and good in the eyes of the world.  Then life’s reality set in for her, just as it had for me. She had a decision to make – would she walk away from this man or stay by his side. I thought I was the only person in the room at that moment. In fact, I felt sure she was looking directly into my eyes and peering into my soul for most of her talk.

I shared my story briefly with her afterward and thanked her for being so bold as to share her life in front of so many people. She was such an encouragement to me that day and continued to be as I read through her book. I was not alone – God has taken others through this very thing in this very generation!   With my eyes set on Jesus, I can run this race with endurance.

Heavenly Father,

I wrestled with all the verses I could find on divorce. I wanted to look for a way out so that I could not be hurt again. As if it is my role to protect my own heart or my husband’s to be my safety.

Divorce is warranted in the case of adultery, right? Maybe even required of a Godly person? I analyzed the proper way to apply how to give a certificate of divorce in your eyes so that I could do the “right thing.” Then you kindly lead me to the words of your son Jesus.

It is because of our hard-heartedness that divorce was defined and allowed at all. The truth is that you hate divorce!

I so clearly remember the day when you told me to marry my husband. Lord, you know it was not a simple decision for me to make. You knew all of my doubts and fears and you said “go.”

As I sit in darkness, you have reminded me again what you showed me in the light. Don’t let me be hard-hearted. Make me sick over the idea of divorce because you hate it. Cause me to understand this mystery of marriage. To know what it is to truly be one flesh with another. This marriage is yours, Jesus… for you to display your love for your bride.

You told me to marry him, knowing what the path had for us. I trusted you then and I will trust you now. I fear being hurt, but you are my healer. I fear being deceived, but you are truth. I fear being unprotected, but you are my protector. You! Not my husband, not my circumstances. Let me love you more than anything that makes me comfortable here on earth. Soften me so that I don’t miss something greater that you have for me here. 

 

Truly Yours In The Round,
Erin

 

“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved."

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