Just Because They're PKs

I just love the different backgrounds of the women who write for LITR. I hope that by reading their posts, you feel like you are getting to know each one of them as ‘friends’.  I was so excited to read Christina’s post, “Just Because I’m a PK,” to get a glimpse at the unique perspective of a child of a minister.

My husband is ‘planting’ a church.  Not the cushiest job he could have chosen. Recently, a pastor friend of ours said, “Planters don’t want to start churches. They HAVE to start churches.”  God puts the call on pastors’ hearts, and they cannot help but follow.

The call, however, is not as romantic as it sounds when it is played out.  Hours are long. The family has to find ways of income, either through raising support or finding other employment, which also requires time and energy.

Pastoring requires joyful sacrifice.

Although I am not a pastor, God has called me to a specific role in the ministry: to support my husband. I choose whether or not to encourage my husband and create an atmosphere at home in which we all can retreat from a very busy life.

I’m better some days than others.

Children of parents in the ministry, however, do not choose their calling. As Abraham Piper said in his recent book, The Pastor’s Kid: Finding Your own Faith and Identity,  “Dad and Mom might be following God’s call, but these kids are just following Dad and Mom. What choice do they have?”

From a parent-in-ministry’s point of view, here are some tips for encouraging your local PK (Pastor's Kid):

  1. The PK doesn’t necessarily know more about Christianity than other kids. The pastor's family must learn how to do family devotionals, scripture memorization, and overall teach Bible stories in the home. Other families, especially those with older children, may have better ways of teaching.
    The PK needs to be patiently taught the truths of Scripture.
  2. The PK misbehaves just like the other kids. PKs are not little pastors. They will most likely get into trouble (in some cases spearheading it!).  Please do not use the PK as an example (positive or negative) to get your children to behave in church.
    The PK needs to blend in sometimes.
  3. On the other hand, the PK should be corrected just like the other kids. Regardless of the church culture, the PK is not the First Son or Daughter. They don't receive a 'Get out of Jail Free' card when they speak out of turn in Sunday School or run through the halls like a hooligan just because their father is standing up front.  They are not above reproach.
    The PK needs the church community to lovingly correct them and point them to Jesus.
  4. The PK needs playdates that are not ministry related. If our family falls anywhere on the normal spectrum, then it is common for PKs to have to sit quietly through countless meetings, lunches, and visits while the grown-ups talk about ministry.
    My husband and I have noticed that even social interactions with close friends have a tendency to get on the topic of church business. PKs need to escape that once in a while. If you are a congregant, invite the pastor's family to hang out and specify that it is just for fun.  If you're a parent attached to the ministry, set playdates with friends and make a "No Church Talk" rule.
    The PK needs to have fun without a ministry agenda.

And don't forget to pray for your Pastor and his family often. It's difficult to love and serve the church body and one's own family as well.  Just as God sanctifies His people through the work of Pastors, He's sanctifying the hearts of your Pastor and his family through this important calling.

So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.
Galatians 6 : 10

See You In The Round!

“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved."