For Better or Worse...

A marriage made in heaven. That’s what we all want, isn’t it? And that is exactly what Adam and Eve had. 

Adam, in his original state, was the perfect human man; and Eve, created from his own flesh and blood, was also perfect in her original state. They had a perfect relationship with God, and lived in a perfect paradise.

Can you imagine? All of their needs were perfectly met; they had perfect communication, perfect trust in one another. Everything was in perfect balance.

But they also had free will, because what is love if it isn’t freely given? The Lord deeply desired their love; he wasn’t trying to create some forced allegiance from them. He wanted love. And love is a gift, given from our free will.

God gave them everything, except that one thing…the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil…
And with Satan’s slick pressure, Eve desired to have that one thing and allowed herself to be tempted, and gave some to Adam.

Sin enters in.

When I officiate at wedding ceremonies, I always meet the couples right at the height of their desire for one another. They are always so very happy, and so excited to begin their lives together…it is such a blessed time.
But in their joyfulness, they always overestimate the joys they expect to experience together, and always underestimate the sorrows.

Both come with the territory, and marriage is for multiplying the joy and dividing the sorrow.
God ordained marriage; it was His idea; he saw that Adam needed a suitable helper. So, when God created Eve, He made clear that” man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Gen. 2 : 24).

They are to be united one to another, and this unity is to last (ideally) until we come to judgment as individuals, standing before the throne.

But sin enters in, and soon the curses come. It is humbling to think about how so many of our sorrows are rooted in those curses. Childbearing pain, which is unpleasant, but can produce such joy. The more difficult curse for women is the one that follows:

“Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” (Gen 3 : 16)

That’s a tough one. My study Bible doesn’t even try to touch that verse. So many commentators are just kind of baffled by what it means in its entirety. I think it speaks to a yearning desire, a desire so deep, for so much that even communicating it is suffocating. We expect and want so much…it is a desire that can never be completely fulfilled by any man. But the desire burns anyway.

“…and he will rule over you.” (Gen. 3 : 16) 

Oh, dear God, make my husband a man after your own heart; someone willing to be obedient to You and living in the light of Your love. It can be too much to bear, the experience of having a sinful man rule over us. Let Your Holy Spirit rule over him. Help us to accept Your Will for us, because we surely do not understand it.

And man’s curse, which is painful toil. How difficult everything will be for him! He will try to provide for his wife and his family, but painful toil will make it almost back breaking and soul crushing.

“…for dust you are, and to dust you will return.” (Gen. 3 : 19)

And hey, after all that disappointing hard work, let me just remind you, you will die.

Ugh. Double Ugh. 

Lord, help us to be a source of comfort and encouragement for our husbands. Let us seek You with all of our heart, all of our soul, all of our minds and all of our strength. It can be too much for him to bear, having so many others dependent upon him. Let Your Holy Spirit rule over us and help him to accept Your Will for his life, because he surely will not always understand it.

Thank you Jesus that it doesn’t end there!

Toni