Control Freak

I like to be in control. I like to do a great job and get what is rightfully mine. I strive to do my best at work (most days), knowing I will rightfully earn my paycheck and positive feedback from my supervisor and fellow coworkers. 

I recently reached my one-year anniversary at work.  During my annual review, I received a lot of praise and positive feedback for the hard work I’ve put in during my first year. I have grown professionally, and I’ve reaped the benefits of doing a great job at work with a positive review and a small merit pay increase. 

Of course, I don’t always do a great job at work. We all have those weeks…we’re unmotivated to complete our work. We make excuses not to get everything done that day…too tired, too overwhelmed, not feeling well, mentally exhausted…we’re human. We’re not perfect and not the Energizer Bunny.

During times when I’m slacking, I sometimes wonder, “Did I rightfully earn my paycheck this week?” Sometimes I tell myself no, and then try and work extra hard that next pay period to make up the lack of work I completed.

Other times, I convince myself that it’s okay. It all evens out in the end, right?

On a spiritual level, I can have this same mindset.

Is my entrance into Heaven rightfully mine? No, it’s not. I’m human. I’m a sinner. We’re told in Romans 6:23 that the wages of sin is death. I deserve death because of my sinful nature, but in that same verse it says “but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” With God’s grace, love, and mercy I know I will one day see God’s face in Heaven (John 3:16, Romans 6:;23, Ephesians 2:1-10). 

I want to please and serve God, yet I want to be in control and know I rightfully earned my place in Heaven.

Ephesians 2 : 8-9, NIV
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”

We cannot work or earn our way to Heaven by doing great things. I must accept that I cannot be in control put God in my debt by just doing a great job. 

Our ticket into Heaven is only through belief in the Son, Jesus Christ. I don’t rightfully deserve a place in Heaven, and neither do you because I am a sinner, we are all sinners. But because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, He has made a way for you and me (John 3:16).

Jennie