A Letter to My Deployed Husband
It doesn't seem like five months is long enough for you to have been gone now. I remember the night you left so well; you must have gotten so little sleep before having to leave in the wee hours of the morning. Saying good-bye was awful, but we'd done it before.
God asked, “Who will go?” You said, “I will.” Kind of like Isaiah (Isaiah 6:8).
While your physical work isn't really a spiritual battle, though that rages around all of us all the time, your willingness to do the Lord's work in another country on behalf of our country makes me so, so proud of you. It's definitely your calling; the military is where God wants you right now, no doubt, and you are flourishing as you never have before. I take joy in seeing you so happy where you are!
William was seven months exactly when you left; he is twelve months and eleven days now. What a thrilling little boy he is! Sure, I get a little strung out sometimes—he is a baby, after all—but it is such pleasure to take care of him. I wish you could see how much he has changed since you left. It's amazing how fast they grow and learn!
Patience. Patience, patience, patience! Oh, boy, the time seems to crawl by sometimes. “'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.'” Psalm 46 is such a calming psalm—it talks of roaring waters and earthquakes and nations in uproar, but it counters the rough times with God's strength and presence: we will not fear, he is there, he will help, he is our fortress. Our being apart feels like such a gulf, a tumultuous ride, but God's hand is at the tiller. He's got us.
It can be so hard sometimes when I am tired and frustrated and the baby's crying and dinner's burning on the stove and the dishes have been sitting on the counter for days and I just need a third hand... it's so easy to get bogged down in the minutiae of life and get so depressed without you here.
But isn't it when we are at our most broken that God can lift us up and really do something with us? (Isaiah 40:31, Philippians 4:13, 1 Corinthians 15:58) Heaven knows I've had my moments of darkness being what is essentially a single mom, but it's such a comfort knowing God is looking out for me and that everything happens according to his will—and that this time apart will eventually come to an end!
We have an amazing support network. Such a “cloud of witnesses” (Hebrews 12:1)! Both the spouses club here on base and everyone at church is ready and willing to help us if we need it, and it's awesome seeing God in their kindnesses.
I pray for you so hard every day. So hard. I pray that you will be kept safe, that you will have the wisdom to know what to do in the situations you are in, and, of course, that you will return home quickly and in one piece. (I do like to tease you about liking my husbands intact!)
I miss you more than I thought a person could be missed. Our day will come again!
“The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.” (Philemon 25)
Love from the Round,
*Scripture quotations are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.