I Want To Do It Myself
“I want to do it myself!” shouted my two year old daughter, throwing herself to the floor crying.
This is a phrase often said by toddlers who are searching for their liberty in an enormous world of wonder. However, as I pondered the normalcy of toddlerhood, I realized how repeatedly we say the very same thing, “I want to do it myself!”
God has called our family into a ministry through adoption. Thus far, we have been blessed with seven children.
How is the cost of adopting, feeding, clothing, and caring for seven children possible? God has put it in other people’s hearts to come alongside of us to encourage, pray for and bless our family as we serve Him together.
At first, I shouted out to God, “I want to do it myself!” Like a toddler, my stubborn, proud heart cried out to God. “I can do it with You, Lord… but we don’t need anyone else to help us.”
A friend of mine once told me that when I deny others the ability to be a blessing to me along the way, I am denying a piece of the puzzle that God intended for the family of God. Not allowing others to give was prideful and would hold back God’s work in my life.
OUCH! That hurt. My pride was holding back God’s work?
Over the years, I have learned that our family enjoys being a blessing to many but others also enjoy being a blessing to our family.
In John 12:3-8 it says:
Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.
But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.” He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.
“Leave her alone,” Jesus replied. “It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.”
IT WAS INTENDED. Those words stuck out to my sinful pride. How difficult it is for us to receive and be blessed.
“It is too much money.”
“I don’t deserve it.”
Beth Moore once talked about how hard it is for people to even accept a compliment.
“Lovely shirt.” “Oh, this old thing? I got it on sale.”
You all get the picture. We don’t want to accept help, blessings or even compliments! Yet when Jesus was blessed with an expensive gift of fragrant perfume washing his feet, he replies that it was intended.
My prideful heart loves to be a blessing but cringes at the thought of others helping me. If I trust in the sovereignty of God (that He is in control of all things), then I also need to trust in the power of His blessings.
I have been very blessed by others in my life. When others bless me and my family, it humbles me. God’s blessings through these people have brought me to my knees in tears of gratefulness. I cannot even count the ways we have been blessed as we step out in faith to love these children for life.
Last weekend, a group of 9+ people from a local church helped put up a fence around our yard (easing this mama’s mind as she tries to play with seven children outside). It was a huge blessing. God used this service to humble my heart. As the group was leaving, I heard my 3 year old yell, “Thanks for helping keep me safe!”
I could not have put up that fence alone. We could not have paid for all of the adoption costs alone. If it were not for a huge group of people coming together to serve, we couldn’t have brought these 7 amazing children out of hard places and into a safe place of healing.
INTENDED. Just as with Mary washing Jesus’ feet with the fragrant perfume, I have to humble my prideful heart to kneel in gratefulness at the foot of the throne every day because I know I can’t do this alone.
So I hush the shouts inside saying, “I want to do it myself.” Instead I humbly whisper, “Lord, do whatever You intend. Thank You for allowing me to be a part of it.”
Next time you encounter someone wanting to bless you with a compliment, encouragement or some help along the way, remember that the urging comes from the Lord. It is intended and it is OK to hush the shouting toddler inside of ourselves that says, “I want to do it myself”. Humbly whisper, “Thank you.”
Take me to a deeper level of understanding your sovereignty and goodness. Silence my pride and humble me as I serve alongside Your people. May I be a blessing and accept Your blessings with a heart of gratefulness.
See Y'all In The Round,
*Scripture quotations are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.